I keep referring to the fact that I don’t believe in quick fixes for addiction.
My crystal meth addiction
Partially, this is due to research I’ve been exposed to that shows changes in the brain that are very long lasting. As I’d mentioned in an earlier post about crystal meth use, it can take as long as 2 years of staying clean for dopamine function in the brain to return to anything near normal levels, and though we don’t have any clear answers on this yet, the function that does return is most likely not the same as that which was lost.
But it’s also due to my own experience. I used a lot of meth for more than 4 years. It started out with $40 bags (a quarter gram) and eventually grew to almost daily 8-ball use (3.5 grams,), which I could only afford because I was selling pounds of the stuff. I’m sometimes surprised that my brain still functions at all, let alone at the levels it needs to for the things i’m doing now. Still, my memory has suffered and the jury on whether my ADD had worsened due to it or not is still out.
When I got clean, it took me more than 2 years of no substance use whatsoever to get to the point where I felt I was “back to normal.” There were certainly stages of improvement along the way, but I literally had to learn how to live without drugs. It wasn’t easy.
Filling up the necessary recovery time
As you’ll find out continuously throught this blog, my road wasn’t without it’s share of bumps either. I got kicked out of my first rehab for using after about 3 months of staying clean and though my second try was successful, it was far from easy and the struggles taught me a lot about myself and what I am capable of.
I’ve included, and will keep writing, a series of posts about rechanneling addictive personality tendencies into more constructive activities that can help in getting through the tough periods of readjustment. I can say that for me, it was this rechanneling that made it possible to get through my days.
Be it my schooling, working out, or my newfound passion for gardening (on my tiny patio), finding new ways to occupy my restless mind have proven indispenseble for my new, improved life. While I might not have been preparing for it, there’s been a quiet in my mind I didn’t even know before…
Read the upcoming posts for ideas on what you can do to rechannel your energy into things that will improve, not destroy, your life…