The wife and I are taking our honeymoon trip for the next two weeks, which might slow down my writing a bit. Still, in appreciation of the life I live now, and in anticipation of the new year, I’ve compiled a list of things I’m grateful for right now:
Top ten list of gratitude
10 – Every night of rest that isn’t followed by obsessive thoughts about the money I owe, the money owed to me, and the endless drug runs I have to go on that day.
9 – The knowledge that every one of my friends is in my life because they appreciate who I am as a person, not for the money I have or the drugs that I’m holding.
8 – The talks I have with my parents – no longer weighed down by lies, half-truths, and manipulations – full of life, love, and appreciation of one another.
7 – Being there for my father as he struggles with cancer. Not looking to get anything but simply helping because I can.
6 – Getting close to finishing my Ph.D. and finally achieving the goal I set out for myself when I left jail, and with it my old life, behind.
5 – Helping others, who are struggling like I used to, to find the life they are looking for.
4 – Finding the love of my life and being present enough to know it.
3 – Understanding that life isn’t always easy, but that living properly and acting in a way that improves my life and that of others is the only way to get through it all.
2 – Being able to admit when I’m wrong and take in the guidance of others who love me.
1 – Spending most of my waking hours guilt free, appreciating what I have, and dreaming of where this wonderful journey is going to take me.
They’re not all monumental, but they’ve made my world what it is, and nearly all of them were missing from my crystal meth addled life.
As an exercise, you may want to try writing down your top ten list. It might be easy, or seem impossible, but when completed, it will bring clarity, that I guarantee.