In a recent post on Internet addiction, we briefly mentioned addictions to internet pornography. There’s no doubt that the easy access, and anonymity, of online access to any and every sexual whim conceivable is at the heart of online porn’s draw. Here we will take a more in-depth look at how Internet porn addiction develops.
The internet porn addiction connection
Excessive use of online porn can be thought of as a manifestation of both Internet addiction and sex addiction. In fact, porn addiction is one of the most commonly reported sex addiction problems, especially among younger individuals and among what Dr. Carnes calls “Phase 1” sex addicts, or the lighter version of sex addiction that doesn’t involve others.
Porn addiction develops much like a drug addiction. After an initially rewarding experience with pornography (a common experience given the cycles of sex we’d mentioned in an earlier post), individuals may experience uncontrollable urges to obtain sexual satisfaction through that form of entertainment (1). The connection between internet porn and sexual gratification is positively reinforced, and the urges become more frequent and more powerful. These connections can become so strong that simply sitting down at a computer elicits a sexual response.
Like in drug addiction the problems arise when urges to view porn conflict with an individual’s daily responsibilities. Instead of leaving for work on time, the addict may decide to stay at home and watch porn – Some porn addicts report staying at home for porn sessions that can last as long as 8-10 hours. The shame and guilt that often accompany these compulsive sexual experiences are also thought to greatly affect the experience of sex addicts and to reinforce the positive experience they receive from their shameful act. Many porn addicts report that they end up in a distressing situation where their shameful sexual release is the only positive experience they get to have.
It should be noted that the majority of people who use online pornography do so recreationally, with little ill effect (2). As is the case with drug addiction, it is only a sub-group of people that become “addicted” and suffer serious consequences from their porn addiction (e.g. lost jobs, disturbed marriages).
Whether we are talking about pornography, gambling or shopping, our golden rule for diagnosing behavioral addictions has been: no impairment, no addiction.
The toll of porn addiction and the refuge of he internet
Internet Porn Addiction can also bring about a different psychological toll than the shame we discussed earlier. As tolerance develops, individuals with porn addiction may also begin to need more deviant material to achieve the same high. This is again similar to the increased quantity and variety need experienced by many drug users and it’s where rape fantasies, fetishes, and child pornography often come into play. Exposure to such material can grossly distort beliefs about human sexuality and ruin interpersonal relationships. Patients that progress in this fashion often report feeling unsatisfied with their sexual experiences and unsatisfied with their partners (2).
We noted that in addiction, shame is a major component of the addiction cycle. This is especially true for sexual addiction. Social norms tell the sex-addict that there is shame in buying an adult magazine (like playboy or hustler) and that there is shame in soliciting a prostitute. Internet porn substantially reduces the risk of getting caught, and therefore of being shamed. Many individuals who experience porn addiction are able to hide their activity from their partners and remain completely anonymous on the web. Online porn is easily accessible, it’s available all the time, and getting free porn is easy. When you add complete anonymity into the mix, you get a recipe for a potentially serious addiction (2).
Porn addiction help – Some Advice
Relapse is common during recovery as patients often experience withdrawal symptoms when their normal consumption of pornography is reduced. In this case, like in many others, relapse is to be thought of as a misstep, and not a failure. See our post on treatments for sexual addiction to see how porn addiction is usually dealt with. In addition to these standard methods, patients can often benefit from the use of Internet filters and “accountability” software that sends a report of their online activity to a partner or therapist. Again, it’s important to recognize that although porn addiction is serious, there are solutions out there and sex addiction help resources in general are growing with the recent jump in awareness brought about by high profile cases like that of Tiger Woods.
Citations:
1. Griffiths, M. (2001) Sex on the internet: Observations and implications for internet sex addiction, The Journal of Sex Research, 38(4)
2. Cline, V.B. (2002) Pornography’s Effects on Adults and Children
One response to “Internet Porn Addiction – Why is free porn so irresistible and what can love addicts do?”
As a therapist who specializes currently dealing with sex offenders, I thought the below suggestions would help any curious readers dealing with internet pornography addiction. For starters, this problem is a very behavioristic one and understanding to distance yourself from the particular way you watch porn is important. Anyone who does this has some sort or ritual they do each time such as going to the computer, sitting down, and finding sites that fit their sexual appetite. Behaviorally, you have to break this cycle. Secondly, is the cognitive (thinking) part of this difficulty. So when we feel depression, alone, anxious, or even over confident, excited, or ‘sitting on cloud 9’ whe tend to use internet porn to cope. It is important that you find better coping skill such as writing, reading, relationships, etc. It is important to have coping skills that you can do in the moment when the urges occur. You want to substitute the coping skills for the use of porn. Thirdly, is to reward yourself when you are doing good staying away from this addiction. Set up an award system where you reward yourself with something you find pleasurable each day if need be. Lastly, the other information I can give you briefly here is to talk with someone about this. This problem can magnify in secrecy due to the nature of it, so try not to let it. Go to therapists, sexual anonymous groups, or online internet porn self help chat-rooms. Hope this helps. Also to remember, just like any addiction, when you are first winging your self off the urges are pretty intense, but if you persevere through them they get less intense.