A client come in today for an addiction treatment evaluation. She had so much shame about her drug use that even the relative who brought her in didn’t know what drug she’d been using every day for the last year or so. I told her the same thing I tell all those who ask me for help – it is absolutely up to you to figure out who you feel comfortable telling about your alcohol, drug, gambling, or sex addiction problems. Just keep in mind that being shameful and secretive about your problems can cause addicts in recovery to be secretive when they experience cravings, triggers, and thoughts about using or acting out.
As hard as it is, disclosing these issues can provide an amazing amount of support while also allowing those close to you to be a real part of your recovery. Importantly, you don’t have to disclose to your significant other, your daughter, or your aunt. You can find an outside support system, either through peer-support groups like the 12-steps or SMART recovery or another group where you feel truly comfortable sharing. Shame will keep you isolated, sharing will help set you free.
Honesty, trust, and humility, along with the ability to admit that you are not necessarily managing recovery perfectly can actually be seen as strengths, not weaknesses. Try it out.